“Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change.” ― Wayne W. Dyer

Well this is certainly true.    When I said that I wanted a room with a view, this is not what I was referring to. While others were looking at oceans, or hiking trails, I got to watch the beautiful cityscape of Philadelphia from my hospital room.

How did this happen you ask?  Well all of the rooms were booked at Sandals Resort so I had to settle and settle I did.  The one good thing about my room was that it was private…no roommates for me!  The other good thing is that I had  a super doctor and many super nurses that took care of me with major things and incidentals (like me saying “Boy could I go for a cup of coffee”) and POOF and cup of steaming hot coffee was waiting for me when I came out of the shower.  This place is amazing.  Hospitality galore and what service!

Now for the serious part of this.  On Wednesday, I awoke with such pains in my back and was so sick.  Luckily my parents were home and scooted me right into Penn where my Doctor was waiting for me.  Here’s the thing…NOTHING I do is normal.  This I’ve known my entire life. So when Dr. Staddon said that my healing process was taking longer than most, I wasn’t really too surprised.  After doing blood work, he admitted me to the hospital for fluids etc and set up a CAT with contrast for the following day.  I was curious as to why another scan.  Well he didn’t want to alarm me but he “thought” the pain could be coming from my bones and wanted to rule that out.  The Scan was clear, giving everyone that much needed “sigh” of relief.  Now what?

Well it seems that the tumor which was ablated is really, really mad and is fighting with the other organs which are nearby, hence causing all the unnecessary paid.  Those damn fighting Irish…lol.  Now that we know this, the doctor was able to put together a plan of action to get things under control.  The “cocktail” seems to be working but has me very tired and a little loopy (how would I know the difference?

Lastly, with this last CAT, Dr. Staddon could see that the Taxol which I have been on for a year, seems to want to be a lazy bum and not work as hard.  With that being said, sometime within the next week, I will be onto my new adventure and trying yet a different chemo drug.

I have so many questions swirling around in my head but am confident that my doctor knows what is best.  Hey, he’s gotten me this far, right?

On a really happy note, my Christian is now a brother in PIKE, where he was finally inducted.  So very proud of him, especially keeping up the good grade with everything else going on around him…mainly worrying about me.  

So very proud of both my boys.  It isn’t easy to get through college with just the main “college stuff” but it certainly isn’t easy when your mind has to be in two places.  I love them both so much.

Need I ask?  Please keep those prayers coming.  The next month may be a little rough and extra prayers will truly help.

And it’s a great day to be alive, I know the sun’s still shining when I close my eyes – Travis Tritt

I am home and it IS a great day to be alive.  When I posted my last blog, I left something out for very good reason.  My last CAT scan showed a spot on my liver.  I didn’t post anything about that until I could explain it to my kids.  On Monday, my doctor did a cryoablation to try and get rid of the left over cancer cells (boy are they stubborn buggers).  We won’t know just how successful they were until my PET scan at the end of April.  On Tuesday, my doctor did a microablation to get rid of the spot on my liver.  SUCCESS!

I am lucky that I have this week off to recuperate since it was a little more intense than last time.  Those little pain pills work super 😉

Our next adventure will be whether or not to have surgery to remove the dead adrenal tumor.  We will be meeting with the surgeon soon to determine if it is something that I want to do.  If the pain is debilitating and not letting me go to work or have any fun, then I’m thinking yes.  However, the surgeon cannot do it laprascopically so the recuperation will be longer AND he may have to take a kidney.

At the end of the month, I will know more about where we stand.  So it IS a great day to be alive…keep those positive thoughts and prayers coming.  That is what’s getting me through!

I’m still standing better than I ever did, looking like a true survivor… – Elton John

Well a lot has been going on since my last post.  MOSTLY good things.  My Christian had Spring Break and was home for my birthday. Speaking of birthdays, this was probably the best one yet.  I was lucky enough to be here to celebrate it with all of my loved ones under one roof.  They have been there with me through all the bad and it was wonderful to have them there for something good. THEY are the best birthday presents ever.  However, I did get an extra birthday surprise…My Alyssa cut off her gorgeous locks:  “I chopped off 9 inches to donate for childhood cancer. I am dedicating this act of kindness to Patti Ann Claire, because she shows true strength, courage, and positivity everyday, even when no one expects her to. She is a ray of sunshine on the rainiest of days! My hair will grow back, but someone else could always need it more.”  Of course I cried.  She is an amazing person who I hope will “legally” become a family member in the future.  I love her dearly.

With that being said, not everything stays the same (at least not in my body).  I had a CAT scan and met with Dr. Fabrizio yesterday to go over the results of my prior surgery.  I knew that he got 75% which was super, so I had my hopes up a little too high for yesterdays meeting.  There’s good news and that outweighs the not so good news.  Unfortunately, where the left over pieces lie, they are scattered and some are in “unreachable” places for him to get to with his procedures (ie. he can’t go through my lung to get to the one underneath, etc).  However, there are still quite a few that he CAN get and will.  This time two separate procedures have to be done.  When they are done, he is going to speak with Dr. Nagda (the radiological surgeon) who did the Gamma Knife on the tumors in my head.  There is a possibility that he will be able to take care of the pieces that Fabrizio cannot get to since he uses a radiological ray rather than an instrument.  So, when one door closes a window opens.  I’ve learned that this is my NEW normal and it is what it is.

With that being said, I am scheduled for surgery on March 28th to do the first of two, stay overnight and have the second one done on the 29th.  It’s great that it falls on Spring Break so that I have the week to recover and not rush back to work like I did last time (BIG mistake, HUGE mistake…wait isn’t that a line from Pretty Woman?).

Another great thing happening is that my precious parents will be celebrating their 55 HAPPY anniversary.  When I look at them I know why I married my husband.  They say that you marry someone like your dad and I truly did.  He is my rock, the best father and I can’t imagine my life without him.  I am truly blessed.

Prayers for continuously good outcomes!

God’s Help is Only a Prayer Away…

Well here it is, Friday the 26th.  My surgery was done yesterday morning and I was home by 5:00 pm.  After feeling like I went 5 rounds with Muhammad Ali (and that’s putting it nicely), I got up this morning and went BACK into Penn to have my chemo.

How did it go you ask?  Well the surgery was truly not a big deal (of course it wasn’t…I was out cold).  The good news is that the doctor (the HEAD doctor of the interventional radiology) was pleased that he was able to get 70 to 75% of the tumor. I had been praying for 50%.  That would have made me happy!  But 70 to 75%? Amazing.  The best part is that I can go back and have them do the surgery again on the 25% that is left.  Why couldn’t they have done the whole thing yesterday you ask?  Well since the tumor was the size of a tennis ball it was hard to maneuver the probes when using the cryoablation.  Now that there is only 25% of the tumor left, it will be easier next time to move the probes around and get to the “leftovers”.

It is amazing that this procedure, which was once used (long ago) to freeze fibroid tumors, is now being used on cancerous tumors. It makes you wonder what’s around the corner. As I’ve always said, as long as there is tomorrow, there is hope.

Thank you for all your prayers!

 

The Best is Yet to Come – Frank Sinatra

Best is yet to come, and babe won’t that be fine?
You think you’ve seen the sun, but you ain’t seen it shine…

My last post was about how good my scans were…and they were…with one exception, my adrenal gland tumor (that stubborn *$&%).  It has grown to 9 cm and is pressing on my organs near my back.  Not painful mind you but uncomfortable.  All this time I thought that my back hurt because the cat has been sleeping on me and I can’t move most of the night.  Not so.

So on Tuesday, Dr. Staddon (my rock star) met with Dr. Nagda (my other rock star) and 10 other doctors met to discuss my films.  Dr. Nagda didn’t think radiation was an option due to the size and amount they would have to use AND chemo would have to be stopped.  Not an option.  Dr. Staddon said that due to the type and location of the tumor, operating was not an option.  However, two other doctors were there…investigational radiologists.  What is an IR Doctor? Well we had NO IDEA!  It’s a good thing that they were at the “roundtable” discussion on Tuesday because they came up with cryoablation.  Seriously, do I need to add more unrecognizable terms to my vocabulary?  I guess I do.

Well, that being said, my rock and I met with Dr. Fabrizio this morning (the Chief IR doc).  He’s not quite as young as Doogie Howser but definitely young enough to be our son.  Much to my surprise, he was extremely intelligent, jovial and very optimistic.  He took his time to show us my scans in detail, listened when we talked and answered questions that may have seemed trivial to him but important to us.  Needless to say, he’s hired !

So what’s next?  On Thursday morning, I go into Penn.  They do a CAT Scan to mark exactly where they are going to ablate.  I go into a starlight sleep (could use that right now actually).  While I’m sleeping, they take a tube and insert it into my back near my adrenal gland.  Once in position, they feed probes filled  with a freezing agent into the tumor (in various locations).  They can do this up to 8 times while I’m there.  What happens then is that the tumor forms an ice ball, killing the parts of the tumor it reached and the tumor crumbles.  So my question was, what happens to the dead tumor pieces?  Amazingly enough, they are absorbed into the body and disintegrated.  Where did they come up with this?  Thank God for research!

The doctor said that since the tumor is 9cm, he may not be able to get it all due to where it is located.  HOWEVER, I can do three different things…come back at another time and take care of the smaller one, do something called “microwaving” (no not like the one in your kitchen) or do small amounts of radiation.  Dr. Staddon said that since all of my other organs are functioning properly, this should be a walk in the park.  There are VERY few side effects other than soreness.  When I asked him when I could go back to work (we DO have Read Across America starting), he said Monday!  Yay for me!  He also said, there are always options that we can consider.  See?  As long as there is tomorrow, there is hope!

So, please say extra prayers that things go well on Thursday.  I don’t think I’ve ever been excited to undergo surgery 🙂 but I am.  God bless those doctors and nurses at Penn, they are truly the best.

 

Don’t Worry About a Thing, ‘Cause Every Little Thing Gonna Be Alright – Bob Marley

Well not much has happened since my last post and that’s a good thing.  I have been on a cocktail of chemo for three months to see how my body would react. The one thing that DID happen with this cocktail is that my hair started to grow back in.  At this point, I wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or not.  Listen, 5 minutes to pull on a wig or baseball cap versus coloring, cutting, curling etc is a BIG difference.  Well I went for my scans on Thursday (MRI and CAT) with my precious husband by my side.  The tests are really nothing, other than the awful things you have to drink.  Now come on, couldn’t SOMEONE come up with a CAT Scan drink that tastes like a Mai Tai?  No, I get flavored chalk.  GROSS!

Well the CAT went off without a hitch and so did the MRI and we were headed home truly exhausted from worry.  The people at PENN said that it usually takes 2 to 3 days before your doctor gets the report.  REALLY?  You are all in the same building!  When I told them who my doctor was, things changed quickly.  I was then told to call the doctor after 12 the following day and he could tell me my results.  Imagine that!

Sleep was Melatonin induced (thank God for this natural sleep aid) and I no longer had a thing on my mind.  I’m at work (the following day) and sure enough I get a call from my doctor’s assistant (did I tell you they are the BEST???).  I went into an empty office and took the call.  Let’s put this simply.  Remember when I was first diagnosed and lit up like a Christmas Tree?  Well, let’s just say that Christmas is over!!!  There are no new growths!!!  The two near my lung (the size of peas), well one got smaller and one stayed the same.  There is still nothing in my head (although my cousin said she has a good joke for that one)…all clear!  The only issue is that damned Adrenal Gland tumor.  It has decided to get a little bigger.  Seriously, doesn’t it see what the other tumors are doing?  It’s being showed up BIG TIME.

So, what’s next?  Back to the straight Taxol instead of the cocktail.  My best results were when I was on this so I’m ready to go.  I do have to say that I’m glad that I didn’t get used to my hair coming in because it will be leaving me again very soon.  Hey, hair is overrated…

Thanks to everyone for your prayers and constant positive thoughts.  I know that’s why things are working!

Nobody can do everything but everyone can do something – Author Unknown

No truer words have been spoken.  If you take a look at this young lady, you can see the determination on her face.  Not just determination to kick a dummy at karate but determination to help make a difference in this sometimes rotten world.  You see, Haley was a student in my school a couple of years ago.  When I got sick, her mom made me special protein bars and Haley was always asking how I was doing.  Haley is great at karate and is going for her next belt.  In order to do so, she had to perform some type of community service.  Well, her project was me!

When Rikki (her mom) asked if it would be okay for Haley to organize a fundraiser for me, I was astounded.  Usually 11 year olds are looking to save the whales or puppies or something cute like that.  They certainly aren’t looking to “save a secretary”.  Haley was.  This past Saturday at Westampton Martial Arts, Haley held a fundraiser called “Punching for Patti”.  When she first thought of this, I think she envisioned people getting sponsors for a monetary donation per punch or kick.  What actually happened is short of amazing.  People and businesses purchased “sponsor spots” for t-shirts, businesses donated items and baskets for a chinese auction and others, well they just made donations.

When you think of all the hard work, time and energy that she put into something like this, it boggles your mind.  When the Burlington County Times interviewed her she said something like…Mrs. Hobson was always kind to me and I wanted to do something for her. I was amazed and humbled by the amount of people who attended the event.  Not only was my husband by my side (as he always is) but so were my sons and my parents. Some people came from an hour away (my precious family) and other people who I haven’t seen in years.  I was overwhelmed by the number of people who gave up a portion of their busy Saturday to stop by.

Haley had a goal to raise $10,000.  Her mom told me that she was “bummed” because she hadn’t reached it and asked her what else she could do.  Well, she set up a “Go Fund Me” page at gofundme.com under Punching for Patti to see if she could make up the difference.  Wow!  She is incredibly amazing!

The reason I chose the quote in the title is because Haley is a prime example of how one person can make a huge difference in the world.  She already has and if I’m right, you’ll be seeing a lot of her in the future.  Thank you, Rikki and Len for raising not one but two wonderful daughters.  I am truly blessed.

 

 

“What if Christmas doesn’t come from a store. Maybe Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more.” – The Grinch

Every Christmas, there is a panic to make sure that all the shopping gets done and everyone gets what they want.  My guys are pretty easy…usually asking for 1 or 2 things.  However, me being the person that I am, has to go out and buy more…and more…and make  sure both piles are even.  The melee on Christmas morning is wonderful.  Wrapping paper flying, miles of smiles and thank you’s.  This year would be different.

2015, as you all know, was a rough year emotionally, financially and physically.  So when Christmas drew near, it came with mixed emotions.  I was so incredibly happy to actually be here and celebrating with my family and friends I love.  On the other hand, I was a little sad because Christmas wouldn’t be the “normal” frantic opening of presents…no extravagant gifts to be excited about.  Much to my surprise this Christmas morning was better than usual.

When the boys woke up, we went in and sat by the tree.  Although there were only a couple of presents, the boys were truly happy.  Happy that we were all together celebrating one of the most important days of the year.  As I opened their card, tears rolled down my cheeks as the words were truly heartfelt.  THEN, they handed me a beautifully wrapped box from the two of them.  Inside was the most gorgeous necklace that they picked out and paid for themselves.  I will never take it off.  The best gift, however, was having them hug me and tell me they love me.  As I looked across the room, I saw my “ROCK” and knew that I was the luckiest person on earth.

So I guess my point is that the true meaning of Christmas isn’t about things.  The true meaning of Christmas is about loving and holding those you care about.  Hold them close and make sure you let them know how much you love them.  Remember that each DAY is a gift.  Although it doesn’t come wrapped with ribbons and bows, it is the best gift you will ever get.

I hope everyone has a Happy, Healthy, Wonderful New Year!

Sometimes a change of perspective is all it takes to see the light – Dan Brown

Two weeks ago I went to Penn for my blood work and check up with the doctor.  I was anxious as I was about to start my new “cocktail” of Taxol and Gemzar.  Well, when the doctor read my blood work, he found that my counts were too low and I couldn’t have chemo that day.  Needless to say I was more than disappointed as I didn’t want a setback.  He sent me home with 5 days of injections that I had to give myself in order to boost my platelet count.  The injections gave me flu like symptoms (aches and pains) but I muddled through.  Needless to say I was anxious for the next week.  Bloodwork showed that although my platelets were still low, they came up enough to have my new cocktail.

As we sat in the waiting room prior to getting chemo, a young girl (early twenties) walked in with her father.  You could tell that she was VERY sick.  I overheard her telling someone that she was there for her last transfusion and there was nothing else they could do for her.  She and her dad were headed to Tennessee for a clinical trial for her type of Sarcoma.

On the other side of the waiting room was a man that we saw often and he too was getting his last treatment but for a good reason.  The chemo had done its job and he was going home.  He got to ring the bell and had a piece of cake to celebrate.  Everyone clapped and there were tears.

Between the two people I encountered that day it really put things into perspective for me.  My “pity party” for myself was now over.  I was now feeling sorry for the poor girl who was leaving and feeling happy for the young man who was leaving…both for different reasons.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that you need to take each day, sometimes each hour at a time.  What may seem like the end of the world for you, really isn’t.  Seeing the girl in the office made me understand that.  Also, when you feel like you’ll never get to the point where you’ll ring that bell, you will.

Celebrate the little things in life always!

 

 

Some People See the Glass Half Full, Some See it Half Empty. The Enlightened are Simply Happy to Have a Glass – Mark Desvaux

Although the official “Thanksgiving” has come and past, thankfulness continues everyday.  This past Thanksgiving was especially thankful as my scans came back great. I am on a new “less invasive” combination of chemo which they think will work well.  As of right now, I’m feeling good both mentally and physically.

The reason that I chose this quote is because of what happened yesterday.  As tradition goes, the day after Thanksgiving, we put up and decorate our tree.  Christian was home (yeah) and we were blessed to have Zachary and his girlfriend helping Scott and I out.  As we got to the end of the ornament box, Christian pulled out a bird’s nest (a real one that was in a tree that we cut down YEARS ago).  Every year we put the bird’s nest in our tree as it is supposed to bring good luck.

Well, needless to say, Christian asked if we were going to put it in the tree this year.  When I said “Of course, it brings good luck.” His response was “Well it didn’t work very well this year did it.”  I was befuddled for a moment then I said. “You are wrong.  Was it a banner year?  No. But we are all here together continuing our yearly tradition and I am getting better. The flip side is that I wouldn’t be here at all.  It’s all how you look at things.  Be grateful for all that we DO have and not what we missed out on.”  With that I hugged him, told him how much I love him and we continued on with our decorating.

I truly believe that things happen for a reason and try NOT to question why bad things happen to the good people.  I know that God is the reason why I found the best doctor, the reason why I am getting better and the reason that I am so strong. Every night I thank God for how incredibly blessed I am.

Remember…it’s more important to have a glass, not whether it is half full or half empty.